2006-03-06 - 11:30 a.m.

March 5, 2006

Mey was living in Egypt as the daughter of the Mauritanian ambassador, when she was told she had become a married woman – she was twelve years old and did not care about the news as it did not affect her in any way. And then the time came for her to return to Mauritania and the reality hit: she was now fifteen and her husband, the same age as her father, wanted her to live in his mansion in the nicest neighborhood of the capital, he wanted her to stay at home and cook all meals, while diligently waiting for him to return from work, she had to abandon her schooling… she was sixteen when she gave birth to her first child, after a long suffered pregnancy doomed by her unhappiness and upcoming depression. After several requests to “be divorced” (only the man can grant a woman a divorce) went unheard, she started a non-violent rebellion inspired by Mahatma Gandhi, a role-model that continues to guide her life even in her current days. She stopped talking to her husband, stopped cooking, stopped eating in front of him, etc. until he granted her wish and left her.

She was now divorced with a small child, yet to finish her education, with no money in her name, and disliked by her family for her unruly behavior. She decided to take her life into her own hands. She has not cooked a meal ever since. Mey completed her high school studies and passed the BAC exam, which entitled her to receive a scholarship to study in Syria, where she spent two years of her life. When she returned she decided she wanted to enroll in the law department at the Nouakchott University and, at the same time, wanted to save money to start her own newspaper that would focus on culture and women’s issues. Again, she had no money to start with and when she presented her idea to her parents, she was told not to worry about working, they would keep giving her a monthly allowance but would not fund her project. Mey wanted to work.

Through several entrepreneurial efforts spanning from cattle investments, to fish selling, to meat vending carts, to traditional artifacts sales to tourists, and by saving every penny received for special holidays and festivities she managed to accumulate enough money to register and start the newspaper she had dreamed of: the first woman-directed newspaper focusing on women’s issues and culture in Mauritania.

Today Mey is a busy single woman, a daughter and mother. Being a woman, and a practicing Muslim does not stop her from being actively involved in politics, from studying to become a lawyer specialized in women’s rights, from directing a team of journalists who scramble every month to publish a quality issue to be delivered to every ministry office in the country as well as several other powerful people who can affect public policy and opinion.

She is not scared of telling it like it is, showing me the scars of physical abuse that she endured because of her will to go against the major current and traditional norms. The mental abuse still surfaces when she traces back to those early unhappy years… but the shadows in her eyes are only a volatile blanket that is easily lifted when she talks about her present, her strong beliefs in equal women’s rights, in the existence of love, in the power that intelligent professional women have to shape their life and their society, the importance of girls’ education and the dreams she has for her own future.

She was a great guest to have at the Girls Mentoring Center, although her strong approach and convictions somewhat “threatened” some of the girls and Limnaye, putting them on the defensive, confused about the contrasting ideas that she was bringing to the table as in relation to all they’ve known all their lives as told by their conservative Islamic upbringing. Heated debates started arising about whether God made men superior to women, and how this “fact” affects women’s lives (contrasting quotes from the Koran and the Hadith were being brought up), about what a man should look for in a woman as told by the Hadith (1. Religion 2. Money 3. Tribal Affiliation 4. Beauty) vs. love (love doesn’t exist!) and many more issues.

My initial reaction was that of “Oh no, I should stop this from taking place here at the center… as it shouldn’t be a place where religious or political conversations take place!” but then I decided to sit back and let it unfold, as religion is such an intricate part of their lives, it’s indivisible from their lives and if this debate can help them realize even for one second that there are indeed different existing interpretations of “the word”… this might help them become more of an “enquirer” in life, as opposed to always simply accepting the information imposed on them by powerful close-minded men. Sitting there as an attentive observer I was able to identify the girls whose wheels were turning and who could start seeing a bit of truth in both perspectives... developing their own critical view and opinions.

I wonder now if yesterday’s GMC session will reach the rest of the community and what effect it will have… will it be yet another scandal, a reason to talk about why Aziza’s work in Magta Lahjar is Haram???

The session ended with the girls accepting (somewhat feebly) Mey’s proposal to work on their own monthly magazine, which she will publish for us for free in Nouakchott. She gave them a lesson on the different parts of a newspaper, showing them how their magazine could be laid out, identifying roles for the various girls and giving them assignments. It’s Mey’s way to continue encouraging these girls to continue their quest for self-expression, critical thinking and assertiveness… will they become hooked on it? I sure do hope so!!!

Much love,

Jordy

previous - next